Shameless Free-Riders

It has come to my attention that local bicyclists are shamelessly exploiting the very roads designed for our cars and trucks FOR FREE… 

As a result, these bicyclists are not paying their fair share of exorbitant Canadian gas taxes, not coughing up for BC’s monopoly-based car insurance, or crying over the high-cost of vehicle repairs (including GST & PST of course). For bicyclists, no drivers licence is required, and they contribute nothing towards our righteous carbon tax – while any fool can see all the carbon dioxin they breath out… Finally, car manufacturers are being deprived of needed sales and associated depreciation, to say nothing of perpetual maintenance costs…

Damn it, this just isn’t fair.

And worse, those darn bicyclists look so happy pedaling around they must be on something.  Police, why aren’t you doing roadside bike breathalyzers, collecting blood samples or something to figure out what substances these people are on?

What I propose is a long overdue government intervention for these free-loaders:

  • Bicycle Drivers licence, annual licence fees/plate, and insurance for bikes – just like cars;
  • A carbon tax based on miles ridden (will require tamper-proof bike odometers of course);
  • A health tax to cover additional pension benefits from this abnormally healthy life-style;
  • A GST/PST surcharge on bikes – based on average taxes for new car purchases;
  • And finally, a happiness tax for just being too darn happy.

Let’s get bicyclists back behind the wheels of those 2 ½ ton trucks. 

Be Canadian for heaven’s sake…


A Concerned Citizen

NOTE – An independent investigation revealed that this anonymous writer, David Try, has repeatedly been seen biking around Terrace looking abnormally happy….  Very suspicious…

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